He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
