JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
