The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
