I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
