Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
