the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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