ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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