We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
