Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
