Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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