If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
