Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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