There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
