ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
