im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
