I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?