If i come over, it means nothing
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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