Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night

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(517): View more from Michigan

we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.

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(325): View more from Texas

I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?

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(443): View more from Maryland

He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today

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(360): View more from Washington

I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.

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(845): View more from New York

I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...

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