I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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