champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful