Your face is a jimmy john
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
