Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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