She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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