there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
