I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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