There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
