I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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