I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
