I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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