To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
