That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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