I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
