you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
