you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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