I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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