Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
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To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
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I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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