We're like a lot better than the average bears
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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