that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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