yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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