i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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