How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
