So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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