my vag is so smooth its legendary
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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