dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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