The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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