she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
