please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize