ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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