My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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