Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
