4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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