Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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