It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
