You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
