So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
