what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
