I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.