just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
