captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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