So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
