I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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