You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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