Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
