I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
