Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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