I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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