I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I touched a dick in church today
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize