I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
