Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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