My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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