that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
