If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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