READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
